Define Good

“God is good to others in His own timing.”

This is a phrase from my third journal entry in the first month of my time in seminary. On the day that I wrote this phrase, I was personally seeing a lot of God’s goodness in my life. I had two of the most caring and energetic roommates that existed. We had meals together each night and they welcomed me into their home and friend groups like I had been there my entire life. While I felt different than everyone around me and uncomfortable in so much unfamiliarity, I also felt loved and cared for and I could see the goodness of God in that.

I also began experiencing the amazing power of community and was surrounded with people my own age that were truly living out their lives for Christ. I was getting to learn and take part in a church that was almost as big as my hometown and was seeing God work and move through ministries that literally blew my mind. Again, I was easily able to see God’s goodness through all of these things. But this statement arose not because of what I could see, but because of what others were not seeing.

I only have one sister who is thirteen months younger than me. We shared a room until I was about sixteen. We played the same sports, shared the same friends, and did everything together. My call to move to Texas was not only new because of the space and unfamiliar faces. It was new because, for the first time, I didn’t have my lifelong best friend. To make matters worse, as I was experiencing new and exciting parts of life, she had graduated from nursing school and began working in a hospital on the ICU floor at the beginning of 2020. While I learned how to two-step and spent my days chatting with ministry partners and building community, she fought a disease that even forty years of nursing experience could never prepare you for.

I couldn’t see God’s goodness in that and I couldn’t understand why He would bless me with so much and leave her with so little.

Fast forward to where we are today. After a year, God opened the door for my sister to begin working in a pediatric clinic. She now pretends her stethoscope is a bear and calls with some of the funniest little stories. She also has reconnected with a group of our sweet friends. They meet at our house every Monday night to do bible study and a few of them have even joined the church we grew up in. I now see God’s goodness playing out in her life.

In my life, things are a little fuzzy. I have now graduated from seminary and after four months am still struggling to get a full-time position in ministry. The rest of my residency group are settled in their jobs which has brought an end to our season of doing life together. My community looks different, and I am learning to navigate loneliness all over again. I have spent several nights confused and anxious, wondering if I was mistaken when I felt God called me to stay in Fort Worth. It was easy for me to write “God is good to others in His own timing,” when I was not one of the “others.”

Two years ago, that phrase brought me a lot of comfort. It helped me to cherish the good things that were happening in my life and gave me hope that God would also provide for my sister. In this season where I am personally struggling to see God’s goodness and full provision, this statement seems to fall short.

I think this is because too often, I have had a misguided view of what is good. I use the circumstances in my life, the provision of a need, and the blessings I see to prove that God is good. Whenever something is off, I immediately have questions.

Why did you send me here?

What is this all for?

Where are you?

Why do you not hear my prayers?

The truth is, we do not need to see or understand or prove God’s goodness. We just need to stop and remember that God is good. When I am frustrated, hurt, or confused. When I seem to be lacking things that I need. When my family is hurting. When loneliness is overwhelming. The truth that keeps us going, praise God, is not found in “things.” It is found in God and whether we see it or not doesn’t even matter. We do not need to see good to see God. We see good BECAUSE we see God.

I had planned to keep going with this post and write out some tips of what we can do to navigate seasons of waiting or trials, but I think the Lord just wanted me to pause and tell you that I do not fully see the plan yet. My prayers have not fully been answered. But my God is still good.

If you are in the middle of a tough season and have been asking some of the same questions I have been, just say this out loud where you are and let this truth give you the hope, courage, and peace that you need today: God Is Good.